Why tailored feedback matters

We’ve all been there:

• A leader gives what they believe is clear, helpful feedback — and the other person shuts down.

• A well-meant comment is received as overly critical or vague.

• You choose your words carefully, but your message still doesn’t land.

  
  

The problem often isn’t what is said — it’s how it’s said, and to whom.

Feedback isn’t a one-size-fits-all tool. Effective leaders understand that to build performance and trust, they need to tailor how they give and receive feedback — based on personality, mindset, and the context at hand.

Two tools that help leaders tailor feedback

In my work coaching leaders and facilitating learning programs, two frameworks consistently stand out when it comes to feedback:

1. Insights Discovery – Understanding communication preferences

Based on Jungian psychology, the Insights Discovery model helps leaders understand how individuals prefer to communicate, make decisions, and receive feedback.

It uses four "color energies" that represent different communication styles. While we all have access to each energy, most people lead with one or two:

• 🔴 Red – Fast-paced, driven, goal-focused: prefers feedback that’s direct and concise.

• 🟡 Yellow – Social, optimistic, energetic: responds best to feedback that’s engaging and positive.

• 🟢 Green – Supportive, steady, empathetic: values respectful, kind, and affirming feedback.

• 🔵 Blue – Analytical, precise, structured: prefers detailed, logical, well-thought-through feedback.

  
  

This isn’t about labeling people — it’s about meeting them where they are. When you align your message with how someone prefers to receive it, feedback is more likely to be heard, accepted, and acted on.

2. Situational Leadership II® – Adapting to development level

Where Insights focuses on personality, the Situational Leadership II® (SLII®) model focuses on capability. It helps leaders assess an individual’s development level for a specific task or role, based on their competence and commitment.

The four development levels in SLII® are:

Development level	Description	What they need from you
D1: Low competence, high commitment	New to the task; eager but inexperienced	Clear guidance, structure, encouragement
D2: Some competence, low commitment	Facing setbacks; confidence dips	Coaching, support, reassurance
D3: High competence, variable commitment	Skilled but possibly hesitant or disengaged	Autonomy, active listening, support
D4: High competence, high commitment	Confident and proactive	Delegation, recognition, challenge

Effective feedback aligns with these needs.

• D1 needs clarity — not critique.

• D2 needs belief — not blame.

• D3 needs trust — not micromanagement.

• D4 needs stretch — not supervision.

  
  

If your feedback doesn’t match where someone is in their journey, even the best intentions can fall flat.

Putting it into practice

Imagine you’re giving feedback to two different team members:

• Maria is highly experienced, self-motivated, and leads with 🔴 Red energy.

• Jasper is new to the role, eager but still finding his footing, and leads with 🟢 Green energy.

  
  

Your approach with each should reflect both their personality and development level:

Person	Color energy	Development level	Feedback style that works
Maria	🔴 Red	D4 – High competence, high commitment	Be direct, brief, and challenging: “Here’s how you can raise the bar.”
Jasper	🟢 Green	D1 – New but motivated	Be kind, specific, and encouraging: “You’re doing well — here’s how we can build on that.”

The best leaders don’t give generic feedback. They diagnose first — and then deliver feedback that fits.

A Real-World coaching example

A leader I coached was frustrated with an employee she described as “too defensive” when receiving feedback. After some coaching, we discovered the employee had strong Green energy and was likely in a D2 phase — facing early challenges after initial enthusiasm.

The leader, a strong 🔴 Red and assuming D4-level performance, was giving blunt, task-focused feedback to “get results.” Instead, the impact was emotional withdrawal and resistance.

When she shifted her approach — offering more context, empathy, and encouragement — the dynamic changed. The feedback landed, confidence returned, and so did performance.

Tailored feedback is a leadership skill

Giving great feedback isn’t about following a script. It’s about being intentional. When leaders take the time to understand both how a person is wired and where they are in their development, feedback becomes more than just a conversation. It becomes a lever for growth, engagement, and trust.

So before you speak, pause and ask yourself:Who is this person — and what do they need most from me right now? That’s where powerful feedback begins.

Reflection questions:

• What’s your natural feedback style?

• When you give feedback, are you considering the other person’s energy and development level?

• How might you better diagnose before delivering?